Healing My Relationship with Alcohol
Healing is truly a full mind/body/soul experience & deep understanding.
As it turns out, I had a very hard time listening to my body… especially when it came to alcohol.
Since July, my mind and soul began to heal. It was a deep, introspective experience that I’ve tried putting into words for whoever is desiring to listen and relate. But, over the holidays, I fell silent. The silence was sparked by @shewolflauren needing a break from the @thedenmothers podcast. Yet when we took a step back, it actually gave me exactly what I needed… the chance to continue and heal wounds.
I never really went into detail about the panic attacks I started experiencing after my journey in July, but it was not pretty. Waking up in the middle of the night dripping in sweat, barely able to breathe, walls caving in, and all of the rest of the “impending doom” feelings that come with the lovely panic attack (PA as I like to call it).
I will continue to share more detail about my experience with PAs, things that help me, practices I’ve acquired, & more in posts to come.
When I took a step back to look at patterns that were inducing panic attacks, it was very clear that almost every time I would get hammered… boom. PA. And I say “get hammered” because every time I would drink, I would binge.
I noticed this for months, but I just didn’t want to listen to my body. Why?
Because I was known as the party girl.
I “loved” slamming shots with dudes 2x my size.
I loved being the fun chick that could “keep up."
I always wanted to be the one to close out the bars.
I was surrounded by people who binged every time they drank.
Because “will I be as fun if I’m the sober one” was crossing my mind.
And so many more reasons.
But for all of the reasons I could come up with, none of them outweighed the fact that I needed to start honoring my body. I needed to address generational patterns and habits of binge drinking.
My body was actually begging me to.
And so here I am, a few months into my endeavors of only enjoying a drink or 2 (if any) when I go out. I feel more clear in my mind. I feel alert & excited every morning to do my breathwork and meditation, instead of skipping it on the days I would be hungover. And the best part is… my PAs are essentially gone.
I love the feeling of setting boundaries for myself. I love that I can have a mezcalita in Mexico and not have to keep drinking until I black out. I’m saying goodbye to my old ways and blossoming into my true essence.
Healing is hard. It has you look at every inch of yourself & your being. Even the ugliest parts. The parts you’ve ignored, pushed down, or given excuses to so you don’t have to change. Pieces of your healing puzzle will continue to surface and create beautiful moments to reevaluate and go deeper in your journey.
Addressing each pattern and process will create more balance & harmony in your mind/body/soul. I’m feeling deeply into this as of late.
Just a reminder: it is ok to ask for help. It’s ok to need accountability, to see a therapist, to go to meetings. It’s ok to do anything you need to break patterns and step into your authenticity.
Also, let’s make it a thing to start acknowledging how NOT ok it is how much we drink as a society. Talk about it with your friends & family. Bring it up if you think a friend is drinking too much. Reflect on your own patterns and determine if they are detrimental to your life, body, and relationships. These are conversations we should all be having.
And, if you are looking for a way to break generational patterns and start on your healing journey, I have a few spots open this month for new clients in my one-on-one energy healing experience. I will help guide you through your journey with a series of healing modalities tailored toward your uniqueness. I have spaces available for 3, 5, and 10 week journeys. Click the button below to learn more!
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Camille's Instagram: instagram.com/camillemisbach
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