The Inevitable Change

There is a song called “Changes” by Langhorne Slim & The Law that nearly breaks my heart.

I think my whole life I’ve been scared of change.

It’s Halloween today and I’m reflecting on the first year that I didn’t get to go trick or treating. When my older friends wanted to do something else, for some reason, it broke my heart. Was that the last of my trick or treating? Did I enjoy it enough the last time I did it? Did I only stop doing it because I was with older friends?

This feeling has been taking me over again lately. I have had the most transformative 3 months of my life and many things are changing. My spiritual view of life, my career, the location of family members, the things I’m choosing to do with my time - pretty much everything. And the heartbreak for the old times seems to be creeping up again.

I was dissociated from my body for over 2 months while on this self-healing journey. In that time, I felt the most creative I’ve ever felt in my life. I was also the most emotional I’ve ever been. When will I feel “normal” again? Will I ever feel back in my body? All thoughts that were trying to pull me away from being present. But now, as that phase comes to a close for me, I feel myself missing it. Missing the creative spark, the unknown, even the sadness. Heartbreak, yet again.

26 years into my human experience and I feel like this is recurring throughout our lives. The “looking back and feeling sad” experience. It’s inevitable - because those times were all different versions of you. Things have changed and things will continue to change.

One of my favorite, most heartbreaking TV quotes of all time:

"I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you actually left them.”

- Andy Bishop, The Office

This blog is not written to make you feel sad about life. This blog is written to tell you to live your life to the absolute fullest. Lead with your heart and don’t let anything go unsaid. Chase your dreams, ask the person out, do crazy shit. Take an extra minute to breathe and appreciate exactly where you are. Because life is SO fu**ing heartbreaking!

We are (nostalgically) sad looking back on happy times and (regretfully) sad looking back on the times we didn’t enjoy.

So whatever you are going through - stay present. Surrender to the emotions life is bringing you. Remember that every moment will at some point pass and all you will have is the memory.

Imagine yourself at 80 years old, looking back at your life as you are living it right now - will you be fulfilled with how you’re spending your time? Who you are choosing to be with? What career path you are on?

If the answer is no - create a plan and make a change. Because life will change whether you want it to or not, so you might as well make the most of every moment you have.

Xo, Cami

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Camille's Instagram: instagram.com/camillemisbach

Podcast Instagram: instagram.com/thedenmothers